The bastard in the Eilenriede in Hanover

A few years ago with Oheim Ashrok in the city forest of Hanover

From time to time I tell about experiences and sessions that are a little bit behind. This took place in 2007 with my then uncle Ashrok.

Orja had asked his “uncle” to take a few photos when he was wallowing in the mud in the Eilenriede, Hanover’s city forest. Fortunately, Ashrok was ready for it. Now the question was “what to wear?”. Plastic clothes would be too easy here, as they would be clean again with a few water jets and the fool might not even get really dirty. So Ashrok found a very embarrassing school suit for the right thing.

Diapers, shirt, tie, labeled garbage bag as a tank top, white knee highs, blue suit from the old clothes container and low shoes. So in the early evening I was allowed to drive by tram 4 stops first and then walk along the busy street to ‘Eilenriede’. People were staring at me in confusion. I had to wear the idiot spotty jacket openly so that you could read the text on the plastic tank top.

It was written there:

idiot

Hoppe Hoppe rider
No second is so stupid
Chase me in the trench
you can trot over it
Hunt me in mud + dirt
I crawl – you laugh away

The idiot

[translated german child song]

The “uncle” was far from me – he didn’t want to be associated with such an idiot. A trail led from the main path into the forest, where there were plenty of wet ditches and ponds after a long rainy season.

The advantage for me was that there were no walkers here. But I was embarrassed enough to stand in front of Ashrok like that. When we got to a very damp place, Ashrok laughed, pointing to a ditch, “Come on, down with you! You want photos!” I got hot and cold and the blush rose in my face. I hesitated. Nothing had happened yet and I could go back home in an embarrassing outfit but still clean. Ashrok’s face darkened and he said very harshly “I said down, you fool!”

My knees buckled almost automatically and with a smacking sound my legs and hands sank into the mud. The foul stench rose.

“Now show me something!” Ashrok asked me grinning, The camera at the ready. “Always up and down the ditch until I say stop!”

I cautiously stalked through the ditch so as not to get any contact with the mud except for legs and hands. “Are you kidding me here? Make sure you come down skunk!” Ashrok snapped at me. Splash – I let myself fall into the mud. Immediately the clothes were soaked with the stinking liquid manure. I crawled up and down the ditch like a worm. The camera clicked on a tour.

I kept crawling the distance from about 20 meters back and forth. I couldn’t get used to the smell. I was where I wanted to be as a pig in the dirt – but it was somehow different from the idea .. much more embarrassing, smelly and wet … But there was no turning back. At some point Ashrok called over to me “You told me you wanted to come here. Then show me NOW that you are having fun. I want to see you laugh – all the time! Go!” I felt like everything, but not after laughing. Then I saw Ashrok holding a fat wicker rod instead of the camera and swinging menacingly. That was convincing. Laughing like an idiot, I crawled on through the stinking ditch.

After an almost eternal time I was allowed to get out of the ditch. I had to stand in front of Ashrok and turn so that he could examine me. Of course, at a safe distance, because I dripped and stank again. Ashrok grinned with amusement and pointed to a pool about 20 meters away. “From inside with you, stinker!” he ordered. Before I had to get to know the rod, I hurried to jump and jumped into the stinking pool. Well, I crawled up and down through the pool. while my “uncle” took the photos.

The clothes stuck to the body. Mud had made its way under the clothes and the sand in it rubbed uncomfortably on the skin. Ashrok didn’t want to end the session yet. He chased me through several ditches, let me crawl under the roots of fallen trees and in between did me jumping jacks, squats and pushups in the mud.

After about 3 hours, Ashrok ended the photo session. As I was, I was allowed to walk to the next main path and walk there for 10 minutes. Despite the late hour, a few cyclists came by, some of whom almost fell off their bikes when they saw me. Then I was allowed to pull the fishermen rain suit I had brought with me over the hideously smelly school suit. “So you don’t do anything dirty on the bus!” So we went home. A mild summer night and a fool in a thick rain suit with a laced hood ran down the main street and boarded the bus. At that time the busses fortunately opened the backdoor in the evening and so I was able to squeeze into the far corner in the almost empty bus, hoping that the stench would not reach the front too quickly. I was able to get out after four stops. Ashrok stayed on the bus, just nodded with a grin and disappeared. I was finally home after a short walk. Completely ready, happy to be at home and now that everything was over, horny like a ram ….

Picture gallery

Thank Sir Ashrok for that experience

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